A door closes

I received a call this weekend from my employer Accelrys that I am to be officially laid off. Accelrys has recently purchased another company and everyone knew there were going to be lay offs come the merger. I have been on disability for the last 15 months but have harbored the hope that one day I would be well enough to return to work. Accelrys/Scitiegic have been so good to me the entire time I have worked for them. Of all the companies I have worked for, this one is my favorite. I will always hold a special place in my heart for all the good people that have worked for and continue to work for Accelrys. I am not ashamed to admit that I broke down and cried when I was taking on the phone to our VP of HR. These were tears of sadness that this stupid illness has robbed me of one more thing that I value and treasure. But the reality is that I am not ready to go back to work. Mentally there is nothing more I want, but my body is not cooperating. It is taking a very long time for me to recover from the surgeries, radiation and chemo. I am confident that I will recover but I can't control when this will happen. I do know that God is looking out for me. He has closed the door. Because if the door were opened again, I would jump through the threshold with both feet and wear myself out trying to be the person I used to be.