Visit with my oncologist

Derek and i saw Banerjee today. He always starts our meetings by asking me to tell him what we should do next. At first I was put off by this way of interacting with patients, but now I like it because it makes me feel like I am in control of my treatment. I told him that it was time to schedule my PET scan as it had been 6 month since the last scan. SIDE BAR: THIS PET SCAN HAS TO DO WITH MONITORING THE RETURN OF THE ANAL CANCER IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BREAST CANCER TREATMENT THAT I AM CURRENTLY GOING THROUGH. BANERJEE HAS TOLD ME REPEATEDLY THAT HIS BIGGEST FEAR FOR MY HEALTH IS THE RETURN OF THE ANAL CANCER. .Banerjee then said, "lets discuss all the outcomes of the PET and what our plan would be for each outcome. What if the PET SCAN shows metastasis to your lung and or liver? Now I start to hold back tears because I wasn't even thinking of that as an outcome. Then he says what if the PET scan shows a local recurrence in your anus or rectum? Then I said to Banerjee, "Why do you always have to bring out the worse case scenarios. I said I don't want to talk about metastasis or other bad stuff. He looked at me and said, I disagree. I think you and I have to discuss all the possible outcomes of any step we take and make contingency plans. I said I don't like talking about the possibility of greater sickness when I am trying to only think about getting better. I am going to bring this up with my therapist tomorrow. Perhaps this is the best way to handle information.....I just want to bury my head in the sand and only think about having a healthy future.