Update

My Dad and Barbara arrived today with my brother and Bonnie in tow. It is so great to see everyone. I was so excited I came downstairs laid on the sofa and probably talked their ears off. Bonnie and Richard are leaving tonight to head back North but Dad and Barbara are here until I don't need someone with me 24/7. I am glad that Derek is getting a break for the next few days so he doesn't have to worry about me.

I have reduced my pain pills from 8 per day to 3 per day. I did that immediately upon leaving the hospital. It has been difficult (painful) but I am determined to get off these drugs. My insides are still struggling with what "normal" is. Food is tasting good and I enjoy each meal. I am still on a very limited bland diet but am grateful to be feeling like we are on a upward trajectory.

I see my surgeon tomorrow. He leaving for a one month vacation starting this weekend. The poor man deserves a break. I am so glad all of this has happened while he was in town and not out of the country. God is watching out for me.

Home again!!!

Was released a day early (for good colon behavior). Have only taken one pain pill today. Derek has made me several very small meals. The best was the 2 scrambled eggs and 1/2 of a baked potato with butter and salt. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Then I sit and wait and wait for the things to start moving. I can't believe that my whole life has become my bowels. Small bowel, large bowel, ostomies........LORD I want to talk about something else!!!!! I want to think about something else!!!! Is it too much to hope that "This too shall pass"

BTW: Very skinny and sickly looking. Shocking actually. Think I have aged 5 years the last 3 months.

Back in hospital

I was admitted back into the hospital with severe stomach pain. The doctor did and xray and said my large bowel was very extended and swollen. I was admitted and put on pain killers and Xrayed this morning. My large bowel had returned to normal size and had started functioning again. Actually over functioning. The doctor and nurses said given the severity of my surgery it is not uncommon for patients to have to go back in the hospital because it takes awhile for the colon to remember it job. It is very tricky business getting the colon to function again after being dormant for almost 3 years. He also suggested that I need to stop taking all the pain killers I take. These cause the colon to shut down and that I need to not give it mixed messages. So I need to start weaning myself off the pain killers. I am glad to have an excuse to get off these drugs. They do keep you out of pain but I hate the side effects. I am scared of getting chronic pain again. This is all so difficult.

Dr. appointment today

I got out of bed and dressed myself for the first time in 3 weeks and set off to see Dr. Hyde my surgeon. I think the world of this doctor and he is the only one who believed I was having problems these last few years and didn't just dismiss me. I still was not clear on what he found and Derek and I were going to ask me before he did any exam. He told us that when he opened me up he found that my small bowel had herneated right before the opening to my ilelostomy stoma. He said the small bowel was pushing up into the stoma causing a blockage. He said the small bowel was very swollen and inflamed. It was so swollen that he couldn't sew it back to my large gut and had to remove my ileal secal valve and also decided to remove my appendix in case that should cause problems in the future. I asked why they hadn't seen this before. I wasn't clear on the answer but I think it had to get worse and worse before the problem would actually show up in an xray and CT Scan. He said he couldn't see the problem when revised the ileostomy the first 2 times. I guess it is just bad luck on my part.

He removed my stitches and commented on how well everything was healing. He told me I should stop taking so much pain med and I will try. I am still in a lot of pain. You all know I am not a big baby so I am going to try to reduce my pain meds gradually. I have been in enough pain the last 3 years. I know Derek is going to harass me about the pain meds but I will get off of them when I am ready. It has been an exhausting day. I am back in bed and am going to rest for a while.

Wednesday Sept 22nd

Beautiful day in San Diego. Fog in the morning and sun shine in the afternoon. Have doors and windows open and am enjoying the breezes. Derek has left me "home alone" to go back to work today. So it is me and the doggies. I have been able to go downstairs and fix my breakfast and lunch. Most of my time in spent in bed. I am in a lot of pain but it is the pain of healing and not the pain of illness. There is a big difference living with a pain you know will get less and less and finally go away. My brain is still so confused from the drugs and horrible illness that made me want to just give up. I can't remember what day it is and keep thinking we are in Oct not Sept. I see the surgeon tomorrow. Derek is going to go with me. We are both going to push him to explain to us what went wrong and why couldn't they fix this problem the last 3.5 years. We get the impression that the Doctors might be trying to protect each other and minimize the reality of what happened. I am not interested in suing anyone. I just want to understand what has made me so sick and how it was fixed. I don't think that is too much to ask.

doing better Sunday evening

Derek, Furgus and Wiley have been by my side non-stop since I got home on Friday evening. I got a little bit panicked when I woke up this morning feeling nauseated and couldn't find Derek. (he was outside watering). Derek is fixing me small meals about 4 to 5 times per day. I am eating and the food is tasting good. I was able to walk downstairs and out to the backyard today. That is a huge milestone for me. My Dad and StepMom will be coming later for a visit. I thought it was best that my Dad not have the pressure of having to take care of me. He was reluctant to agree but finally did. I will see them both the week after next when things will be a lot more settled.

Home from the hospital

Please excuse poor grammar and other inconsistinsies. Still very out of it and drugged. I am showered, fed, watered and laying in clean sheets with a Big Black Dog at my side. What could be better. This has been the worst but I have a feeling that this period of pain and suffering are over and I will now finally get well. I can't explain it other than I feel reborn. (and man was it a difficult birthing process). Thanks to everyone for your calls, flowers, prayers, thoughts and love. As always they are what help me through these rough times. As I recover my brain cells a little bit I will try and post some details of what happened and what went on the last 2 weeks.

Love to you all!!!!

admitted to the hospital awaiting surgery

The unrelenting stomach pain forced me to get admitted to the hospital on Sunday. It is now Tue and they are doing surgery tomorrow at 1:45 PM. The surgery will last 2 hours and afterword I will have a mid line incision from my bellybutton to my pubic bone, will be minus an ileostomy and plus a colostomy. I don't have the energy or the brain cells to explain why this is happening.
I will be in the hospital for 5 days after the surgery and then will go home. My Dad and Barbara will come to stay with me for a a week after surgery to take care of me. I am praying and hoping that this will fix the horrible ongoing bowel obstructions I have experiencing ever since they did the ileostomy to me in 2007. It was supposed to temporary and I had kept it for 3.5 years perhaps it was time to say good bye.

Back Home

I have just returned from spending a week in San Jose trying to help Amy with Henry. He is a darling baby but isn't the most compliant baby I have ever met. She and Ray are exhausted. I enjoyed my time with them so much. I also had a nice visit with Richard, Bonnie and my son Rich and his girlfriend Brooke. The only bad part was that I started to get a bowel obstruction the day before I left for home. I stopped eating immediately and just drank liquids. It has been over 48 hours and I tried to eat a little bit today but started to have pain again. Thank the lord I made it home without having the really bad pain and vomiting. I am seeing a therapist that works with people that have chronic pain. I need to talk to someone who can help me live a full life in spite of being in pain a lot of the time. I know it is a mental battle more than a physical one. I have attached a few pictures from out time together