My oncological visit today

It was a decent meeting with my oncologist. Mostly he wanted to talk about fish tanks with Derek so at least he didn't make me cry. He thought my surgeon had some good suggestions about what to do to try to stop my bowel obstructions and stomach pain. He said if that didn't work, he could refer me to another surgeon. We decided not to do the 6 month PET scan and wait until a full year. Derek and I had already decided that was what we were going to do so it was good that he agreed. He does not think this current problem has to do with cancer nor do I.

I was lamenting about how I am not recovering like I would hope. He says that every time I go through one of the episodes or illnesses it sets me back in my recovery several months. Since I have these obstructions fairly regularly it means like my Step Mom says (3 steps forward 2 steps backward). I told him I never expect to be back to "normal" but what can I expect as far as recovery. He said something that shocked the heck out of me. He said in all his years of practice he has never had a patient that has gone through the treatment I have gone through. I said is that because most of them die? He said no it is because your case has been so unusual. He said people may have multiple cancers or recurrences, but the third time people present with a cancer, they generally can't tolerate a full dose of chemo as if it were the first time. I am the only one he knows that has had 3 first time chemotherapy treatments. It made me realize how crazy I am to think I will get anywhere near back to normal. Now I realize why I can't ride and why I can't work and why I can't clean the house. It also makes me realize how much damage this chemo must have done to my healthy cells. How long can I expect to live before I start having health problems from the actual chemotherapy treatments? Of course I wanted to live, so I had to have the treatment. Only God knows what is in store for us in the future so I guess it is in his hands.