Just a little whine....

I hate having constant pain in my muscles and joints
I hate that my left breast hurts so much that I can hardly stand to wash it when I shower
I hate having pains and I have no idea why I am having them and then I get scared
I hate having an ileostomy
I hate having my bag leak at night all over the bed clothes
I hate having my bag leak during the day and forget to bring a bag change
I hate when I change my bag and have to look at my stoma
I hate not being able to ride my horse (or only ride a little bit and then get tired)
I hate not being able to spend 1/2 day 3 times/week turning out the horses without feeling like I am going to fall over
I hate that I have to think about scheduling activities because I have to factor in rest time
I hate not being able to eat a salad
I hate not being able to eat fresh fruit
I hate not working and being able to contribute financially to our family
I hate having to go the doctor on a regular basis
I hate waiting for my 6 month PET Scan to find out if the cancer has returned
I hate that I can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time
I hate that I don't have the energy to do household projects (now have to pay people or not do it at all)
I hate the fact that I know more about TV programs/HBO/Showtime series than anyone else on the planet

OK....I am done now.
Next post will be Positive.....I promise!!!