Ahhh....N. Calif

I just got back from a week in N. Calif. I miss the N. Calif coast, the golden grass, the oak and redwood trees. There is no place more beautiful than the Big Sur Coastline. I have attached some photos of Amy (8 months pregnant) my brother and me on our way to Napethe in Big Sur. You have to have grown in up in the 60's to know Napethe Restaurant. See the famous bridge along the Big Sur Coastline. This has been in many movies including the Graduate.

Old friends and happy days

My friend Kathy has come to visit for the weekend. We have been friends for 33 years. We have been through marriages, divorces, birth of children, and the deaths of our beloved mothers. It is great knowing someone that has seen you grow up and "mature". One of our bonds, is our love of horses and the outdoors. Today we celebrated our friendship by going on a trail ride. In typical Margaret and Kathy fashion, we went up and down steep trails and made our own trails through the rugged brush. The only difference: in the "old days" we would have done that at a full gallop. Yes age brings fears as well as shall we say wisdom??

Here is a picture of the two of us setting out on our ride. I am riding my new favorite horse in the barn (a wonderful equine soul named Blue).

My Father and Flies

Fathers Day is approaching and I thought I would write a memory of my Dad. My Dad is a biologist/entomologist and was a professor for many years. My brother and I spent many hours in my Dad's laboratory on the weekends and in the evenings. It was in the basement of an old biology building and I can still remember the smell and the interesting things that were in that building. My Father's research centered on flies (Big meat eating flies). I feel bad that I don't know all the details (I was really young) but I do know that he was dissecting flies and putting electrodes in their hearts and then would monitor their heartbeats. I know it was a big deal because he had an article about his research in the San Jose Mercury News. One Easter Vacation he paid me money to take care of the flies. Part of my job, entailed putting a can of dog food in with a bunch of these huge flies. They would then lay eggs, the eggs would pupate and the pupa would turn into these HUGE maggots. I was not a brave girl when it came to insects (much to my Father's dismay) although I was pleased to making some really good money for a kid. I was moving these boxes of maggots about the lab and I dropped a huge box of maggots on the floor. There were maggots from one end of the lab to the other. I just wanted so much to walk out of the lab and never come back. But I knew these maggots were important to my Dad's research and I didn't want to ruin his experiment. So I found a broom and dustpan and swept up all the maggots and put them back in their box. I am not sure if my Dad even knows this story.

I saw one of these huge flies in the backyard the other day and it made me think fondly of my Dad.

Happy Father's Day Dad

I just love this picture of Amy and Raymond

Just a little whine....

I hate having constant pain in my muscles and joints
I hate that my left breast hurts so much that I can hardly stand to wash it when I shower
I hate having pains and I have no idea why I am having them and then I get scared
I hate having an ileostomy
I hate having my bag leak at night all over the bed clothes
I hate having my bag leak during the day and forget to bring a bag change
I hate when I change my bag and have to look at my stoma
I hate not being able to ride my horse (or only ride a little bit and then get tired)
I hate not being able to spend 1/2 day 3 times/week turning out the horses without feeling like I am going to fall over
I hate that I have to think about scheduling activities because I have to factor in rest time
I hate not being able to eat a salad
I hate not being able to eat fresh fruit
I hate not working and being able to contribute financially to our family
I hate having to go the doctor on a regular basis
I hate waiting for my 6 month PET Scan to find out if the cancer has returned
I hate that I can't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time
I hate that I don't have the energy to do household projects (now have to pay people or not do it at all)
I hate the fact that I know more about TV programs/HBO/Showtime series than anyone else on the planet

OK....I am done now.
Next post will be Positive.....I promise!!!

Borrowed from my friend Julie's blog

Mayo Clinic debunks the cancer myth that:
a positive attitude is all you need to beat cancer.
Although many popular books on cancer talk about fighters and optimists, there’s no scientific proof that a positive attitude gives you an advantage in cancer treatment or improves your chance of being cured.
What a positive attitude can do is improve the quality of your life during cancer treatment and beyond. You may be more likely to stay active, maintain ties to family and friends, and continue social activities. In turn, this may enhance your feeling of well-being and help you find the strength to deal with your cancer. A positive attitude may also help you become a more informed and active partner with your doctor during cancer treatment.

This statement makes me feel happy and vindicated. I get so sick of feeling like I have to say positive things to make sure the cancer doesn't come back. That is a load of CRAP!!! I say this is the most positive way possible :-)

Baby Gracie with friends

Is this not the cutest thing ever??????

Capote goes back to kindergarten

My friend Marion did a great job giving Capote his Dressage education. To put it in human terms, Capote has the equivalent of a bachelor's degree. Like some young men, Capote has excelled at learning a skill but has not learned his manners. From a safety perspective it is very important for a horse to have good ground manners. Good Ground manners entail, leading with all 4 feet on the ground (not on your hind legs); no nipping at the handler, standing still while being mounted, picking up your feet when being asked, standing quietly, getting along with other horses; having a pleasant willing attitude when working with your person.
So Capote has gone back to kindergarten to learn his manners.

I have asked Kim (Mo's new person) to be his teacher. All of her horsey charges have wonderful manners so I thought she would be the perfect person to teach Capote the horsey equivalent of: Please, Thank you, getting along with others and respect for for a person's personal space. Right now he is like the A.D.D. Boy in class that is constantly getting in to trouble, jumping on the chairs, pinching the girls and picking fights. Doing anything to get attention even if it means negative attention.

His Kindergarten started 2 days ago. Here is a pic. of Kim and Capote at dusk. Capote is standing quietly on top of a hill enjoying the sunset. It might seem like something simple but it is huge to have him relaxed and chilling

Nothing to report...

I have been laying low the last week or so. Derek was really sick last week. I have only seen him this sick twice in 17 years of marriage (which tells you how tough he is). I know he is sick when he stops riding his bike, doesn't go to work and stays in bed for 3 days. Unfortunately he has passed his disease on to me. I started to get a sore throat yesterday. It is supposed to be a hot weekend so I will put on the air conditioning and hope that I won't get as sick as Derek was.